Over the hangover

In the beginning of the week Mau passed away, I had decided that enough is enough! I had decided I had been in this depression for too long. It had taken a toll on too many people let alone myself in being the dysfunctional hysterical being I had become. I was never ashamed of my hysteria my earlier posts prove. But I was tired of it nonetheless!

So one Sunday Guni my partner and I had a huge fight after she left the house for her parents place and I stayed on horizontal in front of my television forever. And somewhere decided this is it. That was the last day I was going to sulk. I woke up Monday morning feeling brand new in my head.

That Wednesday Mau died. It disheartened me. I felt my fate doesn't respect my resolve but Guni assured me that it's just that your fate wants all the bad things to get done with in one go. I guess that's true. I mourned for Mau two days and in spurts.

I feel back to myself now...the self I was a year or so ago...invincible!

It rained today. That's why there are two consecutive entries in this blog today. Its been raining often but today? it poured. The children in the school that I see from my window went beserk running for shelter into the 3 single storeyed complexes of the school. Some clung to the wall. Some delibrately fell into the slush, some got pushed into it.
One little paper boat floated about till it got stuck and soaked in the rain. 15 - 30 mins and everything looked bright and fresh. Trees look greener and flowers look brighter.

Things are changing. I'm letting them. I like it this way. My way!

Hang Over

Ok so much brooding has been done on this blog. Much attention gained from my blog being my status message. Bad bad girl! Spank spank!

SO the morning started with hurting eyes and sullen face and now at least theres a twinkle of smile on my face. All's well for now.

I've decided that one shall try and update this blog as often as possible. With broodings and dreams as below as well as happy times. Erring and erring time after time, I shall keep floating in this pond. For of course I have no roots in here. I just float...

My fortune on Orkut today says: You and your partner will have a good life together.
My partner says: How can I deny fortune.

From here on she will be referred to as umm...can't think of a name. But will write about it when I think of a pen name for her...a name I shall use while penning down my thoughts for her, about her.

In this queer queer world, you can't out others without causing them trouble...vultures sit on every tower of silence ready to swoop down on one's personal life...and scavenge on the remains of it! For everyone one of our relationships are vaulted in the towers of silence, for we love the love that no one shall speak off.

Rambling about the law and society I hear my friend in morning today, she thinks its an act she puts on...a perfect one at it...we have fought we shall keep fighting. I don't think it's as simple as playact...I think its the lives we've lived for soooo long that there's not really a line between the truth, the life, the act, the speechings and the preachings!