In the beginning of the week Mau passed away, I had decided that enough is enough! I had decided I had been in this depression for too long. It had taken a toll on too many people let alone myself in being the dysfunctional hysterical being I had become. I was never ashamed of my hysteria my earlier posts prove. But I was tired of it nonetheless!
So one Sunday Guni my partner and I had a huge fight after she left the house for her parents place and I stayed on horizontal in front of my television forever. And somewhere decided this is it. That was the last day I was going to sulk. I woke up Monday morning feeling brand new in my head.
That Wednesday Mau died. It disheartened me. I felt my fate doesn't respect my resolve but Guni assured me that it's just that your fate wants all the bad things to get done with in one go. I guess that's true. I mourned for Mau two days and in spurts.
I feel back to myself now...the self I was a year or so ago...invincible!
It rained today. That's why there are two consecutive entries in this blog today. Its been raining often but today? it poured. The children in the school that I see from my window went beserk running for shelter into the 3 single storeyed complexes of the school. Some clung to the wall. Some delibrately fell into the slush, some got pushed into it.
One little paper boat floated about till it got stuck and soaked in the rain. 15 - 30 mins and everything looked bright and fresh. Trees look greener and flowers look brighter.
Things are changing. I'm letting them. I like it this way. My way!
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