In the beginning of the week Mau passed away, I had decided that enough is enough! I had decided I had been in this depression for too long. It had taken a toll on too many people let alone myself in being the dysfunctional hysterical being I had become. I was never ashamed of my hysteria my earlier posts prove. But I was tired of it nonetheless!
So one Sunday Guni my partner and I had a huge fight after she left the house for her parents place and I stayed on horizontal in front of my television forever. And somewhere decided this is it. That was the last day I was going to sulk. I woke up Monday morning feeling brand new in my head.
That Wednesday Mau died. It disheartened me. I felt my fate doesn't respect my resolve but Guni assured me that it's just that your fate wants all the bad things to get done with in one go. I guess that's true. I mourned for Mau two days and in spurts.
I feel back to myself now...the self I was a year or so ago...invincible!
It rained today. That's why there are two consecutive entries in this blog today. Its been raining often but today? it poured. The children in the school that I see from my window went beserk running for shelter into the 3 single storeyed complexes of the school. Some clung to the wall. Some delibrately fell into the slush, some got pushed into it.
One little paper boat floated about till it got stuck and soaked in the rain. 15 - 30 mins and everything looked bright and fresh. Trees look greener and flowers look brighter.
Things are changing. I'm letting them. I like it this way. My way!
Monday, August 4, 2008
For Mau
I remember promising this blog that I shall update it everyday if possible. Haven't kept that promise ofcourse.
So much has happened meanwhile.
Mau had come into my life sometime in the last week of January or first week of February 2008. I had never kept a pet before that. Always wanted one though and in the last few years was sure I wanted a cat. A female black cat. Also had decided then that I will name her Mau.
When I picked Mau, it was howling on a dark street where the street lights had gone off that particular day. It kept screaming and I flashed my cell phone light. Mau came running to me because of the chill and it was also quite afraid of the cars and scooters that zipped by. As I'd said before I'd never had pets so wasn't sure how to pick up the kitten. Po was waiting for me at the CCD with Noosh. Called them and like Ar puts it, Po the cat rescuer flew down and swooped the kitten away.
Mau was not a black cat. Golden was its colour with brown stripes.
Mau was also not female. I was much disappointed to find out that Mau was a male cat. Not that any such stopped me from loving him the way I did! :)
He must've been about 2 months old when I picked him up. He barely completed a year. On July 16th 2008 Mau died in Friendicoes, Jungpura. He died of food poisoning, ironically he was poisoned by fish...Mau devoured fish for the first and last time. He realised too late what was happening to him, we realised too late his pain and the doctor there came in too late to resuscitate him. He suffered a lot before he died but not too long thankfully!
The grief was immense for me. I'd never had anyone that close to me die. I'd never really seen anyone ever die. I'd almost never seen a dead body at all.
What's more morbid is I always believed that when someone close to me will die, that will prepare me in life to become a mother. I just didn't think that Mau would have to die for that. He was just not part of that scheme! HE was my baby.
So much has happened meanwhile.
Mau had come into my life sometime in the last week of January or first week of February 2008. I had never kept a pet before that. Always wanted one though and in the last few years was sure I wanted a cat. A female black cat. Also had decided then that I will name her Mau.
When I picked Mau, it was howling on a dark street where the street lights had gone off that particular day. It kept screaming and I flashed my cell phone light. Mau came running to me because of the chill and it was also quite afraid of the cars and scooters that zipped by. As I'd said before I'd never had pets so wasn't sure how to pick up the kitten. Po was waiting for me at the CCD with Noosh. Called them and like Ar puts it, Po the cat rescuer flew down and swooped the kitten away.
Mau was not a black cat. Golden was its colour with brown stripes.
Mau was also not female. I was much disappointed to find out that Mau was a male cat. Not that any such stopped me from loving him the way I did! :)
He must've been about 2 months old when I picked him up. He barely completed a year. On July 16th 2008 Mau died in Friendicoes, Jungpura. He died of food poisoning, ironically he was poisoned by fish...Mau devoured fish for the first and last time. He realised too late what was happening to him, we realised too late his pain and the doctor there came in too late to resuscitate him. He suffered a lot before he died but not too long thankfully!
The grief was immense for me. I'd never had anyone that close to me die. I'd never really seen anyone ever die. I'd almost never seen a dead body at all.
What's more morbid is I always believed that when someone close to me will die, that will prepare me in life to become a mother. I just didn't think that Mau would have to die for that. He was just not part of that scheme! HE was my baby.
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